my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
