I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
