Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
