I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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