watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The cops high fived after they tackled you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
