well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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