I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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