So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
