Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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