Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
