Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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