Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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