I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Welp...herpes.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
