I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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