Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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