Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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