I am full of burrito and curiosity
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
