I murdered the dance floor call the cops
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
