I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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