Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
