Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
