11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
