I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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