Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
