You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I party with great urgency now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize