U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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