if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize