i just had sex bonerless
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
