I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
