Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
