don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
