you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
