I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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