yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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