he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
