i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
