I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
