There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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