There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
