just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
