the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
