Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
