Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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