Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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