You're so nebulous sometimes
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
