Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
