erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
