So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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