You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
