I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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