i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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