Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
