she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
