So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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