The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
