I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
