I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize