It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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