i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
