I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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