i just had sex bonerless
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
