just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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