why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
