hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
pray to the hookup gods
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
