You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize