I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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