Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
