my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I love you.
Bad choice
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