ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
