So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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