yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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