hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
